Ch. 1 | Ch. 2 | Ch. 3 | Ch. 4 | Ch. 5 | Ch. 6 | Ch. 7 | Ch. 8 | Ch. 9 | Ch. 10 | Ch. 11
Chapter 1
February, during the Valentine's Day season, in a rather dirty back alley.
They say, "He who lives by the sword, dies by the sword".
........
Fufu. In our case, those who live by their idols—die by their idols.
On the contrary, that is no life someone should live. Your precious life will rot away, and you will eventually perish.
I worry about you, HiMERU-san.
—Shut up.
......!
Cut the crap...Don't start spewing these useless sermons onto "me" now, you pious asshole.
.....
Shall I shut that bullshit-filled mouth of yours up—"Tatsumi-senpai"?
...
...Fufu~
Aha, haha. Ahahahaha...~!
—No, you aren’t supposed to laugh there.
A-apologies. I really am not used to any of this.
Ah, you wouldn't say all of these things HiMERU-san, or do any of that, or release any of that murderous intent...~
.......
In addition to that, it made me happy to hear you call me "Tatsumi-senpai" the way you used to in the past.
I wasn't sure how to cope with all of those different emotions, so in the end I reacted strangely...That wasn't your fault at all, HiMERU-san.
I'm sorry to have delayed you for this long.
—It's nothing you need to apologize for, since it is also HiMERU's fault this isn't going smoothly.
As a matter of fact, HiMERU isn't used to this either.
Ever since ES's establishment— or rather, ever since HiMERU joined "Crazy:B"—he feels like he's been made to take on jobs he's never tried previously(1).
But this..."work"...is meddlesome.
Is that so? HiMERU-san, you've always been spoken highly of for your solo work in films and dramas but…
—Those kinds of things have scripts. At least with those there's a "correct" answer to an extent, and you'll have some idea of the habits of big actors if you study their previous performances in them thoroughly.
But this job has none of that. A scenario was prepared, but it's up to us, as the actors, to decide what exactly we'd like to say and do.
In all honesty, this field of work is not particularly interesting, so there is no way to even get started in learning about it.
Aah, I'm the same way. We really are alike, HiMERU-san~
......
My whole life, I never really had much contact with "games". The concept of romantic love is also unfamiliar to me.
That wouldn't be the same thing as "God's Love" (Agape)(2), would it?
Those things are completely different. Games that endlessly preach the idea of "God's Love" (Agape) are loathsome.
Agreed...ah, I'm a bit troubled. Our current job is to "act as characters in a dating simulator".
Translation Notes
(1): For people unfamiliar with Crazy:B’s need to get work: getting jobs is important to them as it helps them survive as a unit. Because of the incidents during MDM (mainstory), they had a negative image. Finding jobs is hard for them but it’s the only way for them to get a better reputation in order for them to continue being idols (which of course is extremely valuable to each of them in their own way).
(2): Yes “God’s Love” (Agape) is written exactly like this in the dialogue box even in HiMERU’s dialogue. According to Google, Agape is the term that defines God’s immeasurable, incomparable love for humankind. The more you know (I am not religious in the slightest).
Chapter 2
—Now then. Shall we go over the work's premise from the beginning? At this rate, we'll never get anything done.
Yes.
"There Are So Many Idols In Love With Me I Just Don't Know What To Do - Love Battle Stadium", also known as "Ai-Stars", is a dating simulator game made for women.
Yes.
By the way, there are a lot of game projects that real idols star in, and there are some that only have their faces modeled.
For example, there's "Ansta" a fighting game in which special abilities are used based on a battle manga(3).
"Ansta"...fumu, I'm not too familiar with that.
Apparently it's popular enough that it will be made into its own anime. HiMERU isn't informed much on the details himself, but groups would get into trouble in the past for creating characters inspired by real life idols without their consent.
Is that so…
Well, all those characters were based on Yumenosaki idols, so it wasn't really much of an issue for Reimei or HiMERU. And so, of all the plenty idol-inspired games, "Ai-Star" seems to be the most popular now.
Originally it was a "mobile game" available on smartphones apparently. Then, with the use of "SSVRS" technology it was adapted into an all-new hit VR game. It's like falling in love with a real idol, they say. Even more so because of the fact that ES closely collaborated with the project.
Each idols’ looks, verbiage, and actions were replicated, so it's popularity is no surprise. Thanks to "Ai-stars", "SSVRS" VR headset sales have gone up, and now a large amount of people are playing the game for themselves at home.
Fufu. You sure are informed, HiMERU-san. You had to have done a lot of studying beforehand.
But of course. HiMERU would never risk sullying the reputation HiMERU's name has. So he will do his best and ensure there is not a single part of the job left unfinished.
Wonderful. I, too, don't plan to leave anything unfinished. However, this makes me realize that I still might not be giving it my complete best.
HiMERU-san, I'll learn from your example and keep working even harder.
—"Ai-star"'s premise is to make it so that female producers are able to fall in love with a lot of male idols.
In addition, if you tried hard enough, you could be in a romantic relationship with your favorite idols and even marry them.
Actually, that just seems to be the whole point of the game.
Is that even okay? Wouldn't there be legal and ethical issues?
It's just fiction.
Fumu...I'll agree to disagree. However, I have another question still. This is a game where...a female producer falls in love with a male idol, isn't it?
I don't know much on that myself but...
If it's supposed to be a work where the relationship is between a man and a woman, then why were we—as men—whispering flirtatious words to each other?
Was that your idea of flirting? You suddenly started quoting the Bible.
It was surprising and it messed up the entire conversation.
Fufu. Apologies. I'm really clueless...
"The assassin is on the run after defecting from the organization, and the assassin that is hot on his tail! The pursued and the pursuer! What type of forbidden love will sprout between them both?!"
...That was the scenario assigned to us, but I don't get half of it.
HiMERU can't blame you, Tatsumi. Doesn't that kind of story seem heavy? It looks like you can experience all kinds of scenarios like that in "Ai-star".
Wasn't this a game about falling in love with idols...? Why are there assassins in it?
Don't ask HiMERU. Projects like these have always had a tendency to overextend over a period of time. They need to constantly add updates—each of them being more diverse than the one before.
"Ai-stars" has been around for a long time, and with the amount of things being added to it, it's starting to become confusing.
It seems like even the producers of it feel the same. I can definitely sympathize with how they feel.
As an aside, "Ai-stars" is a live-action production and you might not know what that is, Tatsumi. Essentially, it's a game made with the idol's actual voice and appearance, so that's why we're being made to film the materials that are necessary to the games production.
HiMERU doesn't really get why we have to act our romantic scenarios with each other as men. They said it would be more efficient that way...but he wonders if that's actually the reason.
Fumu, I wouldn't know how it would be efficient, but for us we've gone the opposite direction. We've become inefficient.
...Yes. Unfortunately.
Translation Notes
(3): Did you know Ensemble Stars was supposed to be a supernatural game before it was made into an idol game? I’ll see if I can find more info in it but I remember seeing lots of talk about it before.
Chapter 3
Content Warning: Mentions/implications of incest.
Anyways. Now "Ai-stars" is going to feature idols from "Crazy:B" and "ALKALOID". It's going to be regarding a Valentine's Day event they plan to add.
Fumu. Well, being the newbies to this that we all are, we're just happy to be getting more work.
Well at least you all are actually liked by ES, unlike us.
Nono, we mustn't lower our guard. It's exactly when everything seems like it's going well that we'll be suddenly knocked off your feet.
You seem to know a lot about that.
Pardon?
Nothing.
If it were like that, then each "unit" would be photographed on their own—but the higher-ups at "Ai-stars" distributed a bigger request of working in romantic pairs.
They wanted to add an interesting curve to the scenario, so instead of having us all work with our "units", we're going to work with our "unit" counterparts.
Firstly, "Amagi Rinne and Amagi Hiiro".
Love between brothers......it's taboo, unforgiven even by God himself.
Next, "Oukawa Kohaku and Shiratori Aira".
That would be different from romance, since they're both good friends, right?
Then, "Shiina Niki and Ayase Mayoi".
Katakana names!(4)
Shut up! You don't have to comment after everything said! HiMERU is just trying to organize his thoughts!
Right. Fufu, pardon me...~
—And lastly, the issue at hand, "HiMERU and Kazehaya Tatsumi".
Fumu. I wonder if they paired us up because we're both from Reimei.
Their intentions are vague. Judging by the behaviors of the higher-ups, evil desires are to be suspected.
Desires?
It appears as though a part of the audience gets really happy when seeing their favorite men getting along well with each other.
I, too, get happy when I see people I love getting along well.
That wasn't what HiMERU was getting at.
Anyway, all of the others besides us have finished quickly and with no issue. It's unfortunate for HiMERU that we seem to be the only ones unfit for this kind of work.
Yes. It seems that even though I like to act like as a proper senior, this isn't something I can do easily.
That's not really your fault, Tatsumi. Or actually, it's your fault that you keep behaving erratically, but there's a slightly bigger issue at hand—and that is the filming won't stop unless we produce something that will satisfy the requirements of the higher-ups, or something.
No matter how bad the acting is, if the producers like it, then it's OK, and if they don't, then it gets an NG(5).
An example, our Shiina and your Ayase were terrible. A starving Shiina chased a sobbing Ayase around, and a scenario like that earned "That's exactly the shot I was looking for!" and they got an OK from the first take.
Fufu. Aira-san and his friend(6) just idly sat and had a friendly chat about sweets, and that immediately earned them the OK. So, why aren't we getting it?
Maybe we should predict what the producer is looking for and change our approach accordingly, but we have no way of knowing what makes a take get an OK or an NG.
It's certainly confusing. When it came to the Amagi brothers, our Amagi tried to act like he was seducing your Amagi at first—they didn't get the OK to that, since apparently it wasn't what the producer would have liked.
Yes, they were also struggling. Since the other two pairs were able to leave early, all that was left was us and them for a while.
I tried to motivate Hiiro-san by saying something like "Let's see who can leave here first".
Their relationship is close. But, while they were chatting on a break, the younger of the two, who was getting really tired from work he was unfamiliar with, moved closer to the older and turned to look at him...and called out "Ni-saaan~".
The second he looked like he wanted to be spoiled, they immediately received the OK. It seems like that kind of thing was what the producers were looking for.
Fufu. The older brother got surprised and then all flustered. I wonder if that kind of odd scenario is what the producers want.
I wish they'd just say something if that was the case. I still don't know what the producer wants.
I guess that everything kind of is supposed to be spontaneous and surprising, but I still haven't been able to get used to your aggressive tone from before, HiMERU-san.
.........
We really still can't seem to get the OK. I wonder what's wrong? Perhaps, should I try to talk more like Koga-san(7)?
"Repent, lowly heathens!"
—It seems as though just being spontaneous isn't enough.
Fumu. I really wish there was a way to simply ask the producer what it is they'd like.
For whatever strange reason, every time we tried to get close to them, they'd run away while shouting "If I look at handsome men for too long my eyes will melt!"
Just what was that even about...just why is such an eccentric person even in a position of power? It just shows how good at game production they must be.
It's unfortunate, but we'll just need to keep shooting our shots in the dark—if this keeps up, then we'll never get this done.
Translation Notes
(4): Referring to the fact that “Niki” and “Mayoi” are both written in katakana.
(5): “NG” is an abbreviation for “no good” used typically in casual business talk.
(6): Idk why Tatsumi didn’t just refer to Kohaku here but the line literally says “Aira-san and the other” but it felt too stiff so I used friend to lessen confusion
(7): For those unaware, Koga and Tatsumi are roommates!
Chapter 4
The next morning, back in HiMERU's dorm in Seisou Hall
(In the end, we ran out of time yesterday without receiving a single OK.)
("ALKALOID" was still flooded with work assigned to them by ES, so Tatsumi had to go tend to that.)
("Crazy:B" wasn't as busy, but HiMERU wouldn't dare inform them that he wasn't able to complete his tasks after trying countless things.)
(Any nonsense Amagi spews can easily be ignored, but the idea of Shiina and Oukawa thinking HiMERU is a "useless child" is unacceptable.)
(And so, HiMERU spent the rest of his day yesterday endlessly playing "Ai-stars" using "SSVRS".)
(His goal was to first understand the type of game "Ai-stars" is by playing it. That way, HiMERU would be able to discern what exactly it is the producers want from him, and the "correct" answer would be in his grasp.)
(Still, it was awkward to have other familiar male idols whisper flirtations all night...but in order to keep HiMERUs reputation as a "perfect idol" intact, this is just a necessary obstacle to face.)
HiMERU-san, HiMERU-san! It's morning~! You gotta get up soon or else you'll be late for school!
Wait, HiMERU-san, do you even attend school?
No need to force him awake, Tetora-kun. HiMERU-chan was up late last night meddling around with something, so I think we should let him rest.
Augh~, now that you mention it, I did hear a lot of mumbling coming over from his bed. I couldn't sleep because of how worried I was about it.
I didn't take you for the type to worry about that kind of thing, Tetora-kun. Don't be so nervous.
I'm jealous of you, Narukami-senpai, you're always able to keep a calm head.
Oh, are you implying that I'm insensitive(8)? Well, I was able to sleep fine last night.
...Good morning, everyone.
Oh, he woke up.
I'm sorry for waking you up! It's alright if you want to go back to sleep~, we were just getting ready for school!
--Fumu. HiMERU was wondering why he was able to hear everyone but not see them, but it would appear he'd fallen asleep with the "SSVRS" headset on…
So he was laying in bed playing "Ai-stars" and fell asleep. Unbelievable.
"Ai-star"?
Ugh, that new game people keep talking about.
I'm not a fan of it since they changed up the script with things I'd never personally do.
Umy~u. Narukami-senpai, I guess you're not too happy with the idea that your character model could fall in love with a woman.
Well, it's just a game--a work of fiction. It doesn't have anything to do with me and it has no connection to real life.
......
? What's wrong, HiMERU-chan? You're staring…
Sorry, I'm not judging anyone who likes "Ai-stars" or anything, even you. It wouldn't be the first time I've been treated as some handsome idol.
No, HiMERU didn't play "Ai-stars" because he liked it...hm?
......?
[Narukami Arashi / Relationship: Stranger / Status: Anxious / Affinity: 22]
Narukami-san. What's that mysterious text floating above your head?
Text? What?
Narukami-senpai doesn't have anything written on her head though, HiMERU-san?
[Nagumo Tetora / Relationship: Stranger / Status: Bad Health (Sleep Deprived) / Affinity: 34]
....? Nagumo, you seem to have similar text over your head too.
....? ....? But, I don't see anything?
Oh, HiMERU-chan, could it be that you're still tired? Maybe we should get you back to bed, then?
It's true though. There's words above your head saying something about affinity.
??? If this is some kind of joke, it's not funny y'know. I don't get it…
[Narukami Arashi / ↓↓ Affinity Decreased ↓↓]
(Seriously, what is this? An illusion? But it looks real...?)
Hello, is HiMERU-san here?
Nn? A visitor? You're "ALKALOID"'s Kazehaya-senpai, right?
That’s right. Good morning, sorry for the early visit.
Gooood morning~ HiMERU-chan is riiiight here, but there's something wrong with him and I'm really worried, y'know?
Kazehaya-senpai, would you happen to know anything about this? HiMERU-chan said he was working with you and "ALKALOID"...?
Yes. I was actually here to ask him a quick question about it.
........
Ah, HiMERU-san! Good morning! Fufu, looks like you just woke up…~
HiMERU-san is always so perfect, so it's really refreshing to see you so sleepy like this.
[Kazehaya Tatsumi / Relationship: Good Friends / Status: Happy / Affinity: 89]
This is all so frustrating!
Eh?! I-I'm sorry, I didn't mean to provoke you…
[Kazehaya Tatsumi / ↓↓ Affinity Decreased ↓↓]
(Just what the hell is happening here? Has the world gone crazy, or have "I"?)
Translation Notes
(8): To clarify, when Arashi uses “insensitive” here I don’t think she means it like “oh so you think i’m rude/blunt” but rather I think she means it in a way that’s like “oh so you think I can’t empathize with him” like…to be emotionally cognizant of someone else’s feelings.
Chapter 5
A few hours later, at one of ES’s best date spots “Saison Avenue”.
HiMERU-saaa~an! This way! Sorry for calling you all the way out here!
.....
Fufu. I was starting to worry since you were running a little late.
I heard you weren't feeling well. If that's the case, then shall we call it a day here?
[Kazehaya Tatsumi / Relationship: Close Friends / Status: Anxious / Affinity: 91]
We are not close friends! Nothing happened, so the affinity shouldn't be increasing!
What are you saying?! Seriously, I think there might be something off with you HiMERU-san.
--No, there's no need to worry.
Just to be absolutely sure, HiMERU went to the doctors in order to be properly checked out, and the doctor assured him that there was nothing wrong with HiMERU.
(That's right--HiMERU thought this whole situation has been absolutely nuts, so he paid a visit to the hospital where "HiMERU" was sleeping.)
(The doctor is pretty good, and trustworthy too. There would be no way to entrust someone as precious as "HiMERU" to them otherwise, obviously.)
(Additionally, that doctor knows a lot more about "HiMERU"s body than HiMERU does.)
(For "HiMERU"s sake, a lot of money and materials are spent to perform repeated tests. That doctor has a lot of data on "HiMERU", so of course–by extension–he has plenty of data on "me" as well.)
(However, the doctor spent a large amount of time doing examinations, only to say that there was "nothing wrong".)
(But that’s absurd! To think that doctor ended up being an untrustworthy guy!)
(HiMERU visited other hospitals just to be safe, but they all told him the same thing! There was no issue with HiMERU's physical or mental condition!)
(So that leaves two options: [1] This is all a figment of HiMERU's imagination. [2] HiMERU has contracted an unknown disease.)
(It's a 50/50 chance, and if it ended up being the latter then that would definitely be unfortunate.)
(HiMERU would not be able to continue being HiMERU! Ugh, HiMERU can't even stand the thought of it!)
Are you sure you're alright, HiMERU-san? I realized you were mumbling to yourself a few strange questions a bit ago.
Please allow me to pray for your health.
--Quit being so nice to HiMERU!
Uwah?!
It's annoying, so keep your distance!
I-I see...Apologies. It seems I've caused you discomfort.
So you've finally noticed!
Pardon?
It's nothing...don't worry. You haven't done anything and HiMERU is just fine. Yes.
I was just concerned because it doesn’t look like it.
[Kazehaya Tatsumi / ↑↑ Affinity Increased ↑↑]
Why does it keep going up?! Even with HiMERU's bad attitude!
Just what do you keep talking about?!
If you have any issues, you know you can always come talk to me HiMERU-san. It'll just be between you and me as friends, okay?
We are strangers and definitely not close friends, got it?!
No. Um, I never called myself a close friend.
(Ugh. It’s no use. It's one thing if everything Tatsumi does is angering, but nothing will be solved with taking it all out on him.)
(If the doctor's diagnosis is anything to go by, it would be better to ask others for help. Even if it's difficult.)
So, Tatsumi…
Yes?
There's no simple way to explain this, but HiMERU has started seeing his reality as some sort of game.
Huh...?
According to the doctor's tests, it's an unforeseen side effect of playing "SSVRS", especially with being immersed in a VR world for a prolonged period of time.
HiMERU appears to be unable to distinguish reality from games.
Aah, I've heard of something like that vaguely before.
Right. "SSVRS" is made to trick the brain and one's senses into believing fiction is reality. So it makes sense that playing it for an extended period of time may be detrimental to the game.
W-wouldn't that make it a harmful device?
...It's probably fine. If it wasn't, then they wouldn't be sold on the market.
HiMERU is, to clarify, vulnerable to outside influences. According to the doctor, this is a symptom that appeared unexpectedly because of that.
? What does that mean?
Explaining in detail is unnecessary. At any rate, HiMERU is having physical and mental repercussions because of "SSVRS" and that's all you need to know.
Right.
Another thing. The doctor said that until HiMERU finally beats the game, the symptoms won't disappear.
Completing the game is crucial, as the brain needs to be tricked. When that happens, HiMERU would be freed from the game world like waking up from a dream.
That’s just a theory though. This is a completely unexpected situation, after all.
Fumu....however, I checked "Ai-stars" and its details, but this is supposedly a mobile game, correct? I've heard that there's no way to "clear" those games.
It’s not like Super M-rio, where all you have to do is defeat B-wser and save Princess P-ach, right?(9)
It's odd to hear those kinds of words from you, Tatsumi. But yes, mobile games have no "end" so long as their servers are still in service.
Fortunately, in "Ai-stars" case--there is something called a "true ending". The game ends when a certain character's route is completed.
Route...?
Translation Notes
(9): “Mario”, “Bowser”, “Peach”. You can’t be sued for infringing Nintendo’s rights if you don’t explicitly say the character names. Also this kind of blanking happened in Honeybee when referring to Monopoly.
Chapter 6
Uhuh...
So basically, you wanted us to help HiMERU-han and the others, is that right Anzu-han?
Hmmm. Yesterday we were able to get the job done without a hitch, but HiMERU-han is having an unusually hard time with it–
......
Hey, can't you at least respond with something? It’s lonely talking by myself, y'know.
Ah, eh? Right! I'm sorryyy!
Anzu-san never said anything to me! She's an amazing producer so I thought she would have told me to do somethiiiing!
I mean, you've been acting kind of reserved this whole time...so what's up with you?
You've been moving away from us really slowly and you haven't joined the conversation this whole time either.
Or, is it just that you don't wanna help the oh-so-awful "Crazy:B" even if we're allied?
It's not like that! I have nothing against "Crazy:B"! In fact I even sympathize with you all since we debuted as newcomers around the same time...!
That so. Well, that's a problem...I know this sounds contradictory but you'd be better off not getting too friendly with us.
No, um! I'd personally rather it if I got to know you all more actually! It would be an all around disaster if we were to start something with you!
...? Well, I dunno about you, but I'm hoping we can see eye-to-eye at least during work.
C'mon, let's shake hands~
Kyaaaaah?!
....You scared me! The hell...don't scream so suddenly.
I'm sorryyyy! I'm just not good with being surprised! That was just the sound of my reason and instinct grinding together!
Some heart of steel you’ve got.
I'm throwing a shield of reason in front of my instincts that want to let looseeee! Ahhh, but it's just too fragile and unsounnnd...!
This is pretty grim. I can't even hold a proper conversation.
Yesterday, Niki-han was paired up with you and did a good job with the work, right? He’s a surprisingly capable guy.
I actually have no idea how we got the OK yesterday either! That's why now, after being asked to help Tatsumi-san, I'm at a loss…
.......
Ah, Tatsumi-san! Tatsumi-saa~aan! It's Mayoi!
Uuuu, I was having a really difficult time walking around and talking with people I'm not familiar with! But, Tatsumi-san, when I saw you all my fears melted away!
After all, Tatsumi-san is a cherished person who always saves even someone like me~!
Mayoi-san. Anzu-san and...Kohaku-san, was it? Good morning to you all.
Yep, morning. Hm? Wasn't HiMERU-han with you?
Haaa...we ran into a bit of trouble.
(Uuu! I want to hide in Tatsumi-san's shadow and be embraced in the tenderness that always radiates from him! Ahh, but if I do anything like that now, I'll just look ridiculous...!)
? What's the matter, Mayoi-san? You're fidgeting a lot.
You told me in advance about it, but it seems like you really brought wonderful helping hands, Anzu-san.
What do you mean?
Let's see here. Surely the both of you have already been informed but yesterday our pairing--"HiMERU x Kazehaya Tatsumi"--failed to get an OK for the entire time.
As a result, the job was left unfinished.
So that's how it is. I wonder what HiMERU-han got shy about, he didn't tell us anything so we were left completely in the dark about it.
Fufu. HiMERU-san is someone who takes pride in his work, so I'm certain he wasn't too keen about confiding in others about the mistake.
It was that way for me and the other "ALKALOID" members as well, as I tend to take the role of a big brother capable of anything.
But since things aren't that way anymore, I feel better now that I can tell them everything.
Uuu, so bright....You're so optimistic Tatsumi-san. So strong and unphased by everything. Ahh, I want to rest against you.
As far as I'm concerned, that's not any of your fault. You really can't do much about it unless the boss gives the OK.
Yes, it was something truly troublesome. Even though yesterday we put in a lot of effort, we weren't able to get anything to work out.
And so, we came to the conclusion that just working through it on our own wouldn't work, so we consulted with Anzu-san after we'd already talked to her on another matter yesterday.
I was lost on what to do. We were really grasping at straws.(10)
Translation Notes
(10): An idiom basically meaning “making blind attempts to succeed in something after all else has failed”
Chapter 7
And so, Anzu-san was able to intervene fast.
She quickly contacted the director--and then came up with a solution. Basically, "maybe the pairing is inadequate" is what they concluded.
With me and HiMERU-san together, we can't quite properly act like "characters in a dating simulator". So, we thought we would be better off pairing up instead with our close friends.
And that's why you called us, as pairing candidates.
Well, HiMERU-han is pretty hard on Rinne-han and Niki-han, but he's got some sort of soft spot for me.
I wonder if he'd have trouble showing fondness, much less be able to act like a "character in a dating sim".
Yes. Though I'm still unsure if that would be the "correct" answer, since the director seems to have a peculiar set of morals.
But still, it's better than doing the same thing in circles. If you keep trying your luck until you hit a jackpot then you'll have to win eventually for sure.
I feel the same. I'm sorry to trouble you both, but I would be grateful if you could help us out.
Nonsense. If my unitmate’s in trouble then I've gotta lend him a hand right?
Ah, right! I'm not sure how I'm going to be able to assist, but I'll make sure to do my best! Uuu! Tatsumi-san probably considers me a close friend for "ALKALOID" so that must mean he called me for that reason! I couldn't be more honored, I'm so happy I feel as if I could collapse!
Not exactly, I let Anzu-san choose. She's a talented producer, so I trusted she'd be able to pick the "correct" combinations.
I-is that so?! I'm sorry for getting so excited over a misunderstandingggg!
I was full of myself for thinking that I was the only special one, but Tatsumi-san you have love for all beings, don't you?!
Fufu. I'm not that much of a Saint. I'm not even trying to be one, but now–
.....?
It appears you've all gathered.
Hiyah?!
HiMERU-han. Where've you been off to all by yourself?
Apologies for acting unusually. Unfortunately, HiMERU hadn't been feeling well so he went to the restroom in that convenience store there for a bit.
Are you okay? Now that you mention it, you don't look too hot HiMERU-han...?
Yes, it doesn't affect HiMERU's behavior so he is fine. He doesn't want to stay any longer in this ridiculous situation either, so let's finish this today.
R-right...? Just take it easy, okay?
(How careless....Telling Tatsumi about HiMERU's condition and asking for his assistance may have been a mistake.)
(In order for HiMERU to fix this whole situation, he would have to "win over" someone to beat the game. His theory is that by doing so, his brain will finally realize the game is over and return to reality.)
(Since there was no one else around, HiMERU supposed he'd try to "win over" Tatsumi, but in order to do that, he’d have to increase his affinity.)
(Once the affinity is high enough, one could propose to the other and vice-versa. If both sides are consenting and they accept the proposal, then the marriage is complete.)
(When it comes to Ai-stars, the roll credits will then play out, and the game will finish. Or--to put it differently--the game will be beat. However, the just the thought of trying to increase Tatsumi's affinity is horrible--)
? What's the matter, HiMERU-san? You look dizzy, I'm worried you might faint!
Fufu. Let's hold hands like we did just a bit ago, and I'll support you.(11)
.....?!
Right, gyugyuuuu(12)....I love you, HiMERU-san~
....................
Are you alright?! Just now, your eyes turned completely white!?
Everything is fine. Nothing is wrong. It’s just that for a moment HiMERU was so disgus--
Nono, HiMERU just felt a little exhausted because of his current condition. Yes, that's all.
Are you sure you're feeling okay....?
W-what do you mean by holding hands....? A-and did I just hear him say "I love you".....? Eh? Eh?! Just what is going on with you two....?!
We are neither close friends nor lovers!
Hiiiii! Please don't shout so suddenly!
Apologies. We're just trying to put effort into this our own way, so we're trying countless things in order to be like "characters in a dating simulator".
A-ah, so that's how it is. You're not actually in love, just acting…
Obviously. It's true that something like this might give you the wrong idea, but we have no other choice. HiMERU would really like to get out of this situation already.
But I'm having such a good time though…
It's not as bad nowadays, but specifically growing up I never truly had a close connection with anyone.
Now that I'm thinking about it, I'm pretty sure I'm living a lonelier life than I thought. Is it because I've never had a close relationship with someone that I'm unable to act in a romantic way?
.......
Translation Notes
(11): “Support” in this context meaning to bear one’s weight, to stabilize
(12): The jp onomatopoeia for a squeezing or clinging gesture
Chapter 8
Content Warning: Mentions of a pairing with an ambiguous age gap.
A few minutes later.
Now, let's begin filming once again.
Hiii! I'll be in your care!
Yes, and I in yours.
I believe Anzu-san was able to communicate with the producers of "Ai-stars" and get them to switch the pairings.
Tatsumi: Now, the pairings will be "Kazehaya Tatsumi and Ayase Mayoi" as well as "HiMERU and Oukawa Kohaku". Let's all do our best to act as "characters in a dating simulator"~
Even if it's just a little, I'll give it my best...!
Just so you know. Anzu-han is gonna be off to the side somewhere filming with some special equipment.
Just act natural and don't be too uptight about the camera being around. That's probably the correct answer you keep looking for too. If you try acting, it's just gonna feel forced, so you're better off just doing as you normally do.
That's how me and Love-han got the "OK" yesterday too, we just talked like normal. I don't really get any of the reasoning behind it, but what the director says goes I guess.
--If "Ai-stars" is meant to be a dating simulator between men and women, then wouldn't it be more efficient to create a pairing with Anzu-san?
HiMERU was also unfamiliar with "men whispering sweet nothings to each other", so he wasn't able to act well without enough information.
Though if a pairing with Anzu-san was created, there would at least be a specific way to act. There's multiple examples to follow from existing books and movies.
See, that's what I said, but it turns out Anzu-han isn't comfortable with it. She doesn't like the idea of Producers misusing their power against idols or something.
That's the exact premise of "Ai-stars" though.
--Well, forcing people into doing something they don't want to is no good. Idols are oftentimes made to do jobs they don't like with smiles on their faces, and Anzu-san is no idol.
Yes. Though I must feel grateful since she's doing so much to help us despite this not being her issue ro begin with.
Anzu-san is truly a wonderful Producer. Seeing as we're indebted to her, we as idols should complete this task with all we have.
But first, we should spend time together and with our respective partners since that was the instructions we received first. Best of luck, HiMERU-san.
Haa. Tatsumi hanging around aimlessly is annoying, but HiMERU is determined to complete the job thoroughly.
Yes. I respect that part of you greatly--I always have.
.........
Alright, Mayoi-san! Let us begin this fun date! I'm not really familiar with dating, but we should spend time as if we're a married couple(13) having fun in a safe way, correct?
A married couple...?! I-it can't be, I'm completely in shock!
Ah! Please look, there they're selling clothes and accessories that would look wonderful on you Mayoi-san~
Hiii, a cross....?!
You don't like it?
I don't I doooooon't, hiiii...! I'll melt, I'll melt and be turned into a heap of muuuuud?!
Kokoko~ Those two over there seem pretty chummy don't they? I suppose we'd have to act our part in a chummy scene too, but I'm not too keen on that kinda thing.
I meant to ask Love-han about it yesterday since he seemed to know a bunch about that kinda thing, but we got the "OK" while we were distracted talking about something else...I really just don't get it.
So I'm not really sure what to do. HiMERU-han, maybe you could tell me? HiMERU-han, you know I'd help you out in any way I can, right? Do you need to hold hands? Hey, hey?
[Oukawa Kohaku / Relationship: Friend? / Status: Calm / Affinity: 44]
What's with that question mark?!
What are you on about?! Just what is going on with you lately, HiMERU-han? Maybe you should take a break?
--No. HiMERU and Tatsumi are the main focuses of this activity, so we can't possibly leave.
If you say so…
Seeing as you and the others came all the way here, Oukawa, getting this done today needs to be ensured no matter the cost.
--So please don't worry, HiMERU is a professional.
Hold on, wasn't the reason we had to come out here to begin with because “the professional” was rusty?(14)
[Oukawa Kohaku / ↓↓ Affinity Decreased ↓↓]
(Ggggh! How absurd! This is inconceivable! HiMERU was just talking like he usually does, and yet Oukawa's Affinity keeps going down!)
(Wait. Actually, why is Oukawa's Affinity so low to begin with? According to HiMERU's calculations it should be 90 at the very least!)
Ufufu. Seems like this is really running you through the dirt, HiMERU-han.
Kokoko~ Maybe this isn't the best time to say so, but I'm kind of glad. You really don't show when you're having trouble at all, HiMERU-han. You definitely don't show emotions like anger or envy either.
....Because HiMERU is an idol. The best and the most perfect in the world.
Yeah. Maybe so, but "Crazy:B" aren't really perfect idols.
Take Niki-han, for example. He's always thinking about food like a kid or animal.
And then there's Rinne-han, who's always got something to be pissed at, but he swallows it and calmly puts a plan together. He's like a steam engine that's got a roaring flame in him, and that's what keeps him going.
We've only been able to come this far being tugged along by a guy like him.
--Just what are you trying to say, Oukawa?
Basically, our leader Rinne-han would never ignore the fire that's in us. If anything, he'd actually just fuel it even more.
......
I've always been angry too.
At the annoyances of day to day life. At this unfair world. At my family's disturbing business. At the smiles of my parents and sisters, that always felt forced. Everything I hated I wanted to get rid of.
Rinne-han, and the rest of you at Crazy:B, accepted such an ugly side of me. I was allowed to be angry and to kick and scream like a spoiled brat.
All those people that say "don't be an eyesore, don't be shameful" and force our heads down, they're our enemies.
Niki-han's taught me a thing or two lately too. We can be more like him and follow our desires more. His way of living is the "correct" answer for "Crazy:B". It's part of the reason why Rinne-han loves him so much--and accepts him.
No, Amagi seems to be the hardest on Shiina.
Kokoko~ That just means Rinne-han's not afraid to be himself too, right? He just lives however he wants without a care.
I want to live that way too...but I can't force you to do that, HiMERU-han.
I don't know what type of person you are, what you like or what you hate…I still don't know a thing about you yet, HiMERU-han.
Oukawa, "I"--
Translation Notes
(13): Yes, Tatsumi does in fact use the word for “married people” here KHFDS Mayoi does so right after as well.
(14): This reads more like Kohaku is muttering this under his breath.
Chapter 9
A few hours later.
Fufu, what a productive day!
U-uuu. Tatsumi-san, I'm glad you're happyyy…
Oya, Mayoi-san, why do you look so exhausted?
It's odd that you would ask "why"...Tatsumi-san, you lose control so easily. Not just with cars…
.....?
Eh? Didn't you notice at all? Tatsumi-san, you grabbed my hand and pulled me to all kinds of stores endlessly, and made me try all sorts of beautiful clothes--I was made into a mannequin!
Not only that, I was pulled into doing things you wanted to do like arcade games and karaoke!
I can't take any more! I've been drained of my strength! I'm completely exhausted!
I-I didn't even realize that...I'm sorry to have put you through my "fun", Mayoi-san.
I assumed that if I was having fun then you must have been too. It seems that wasn't the case.
I repent. Ohh, I've succumbed to desires at Mayoi-san's expense.
N-no, that's not it! It was a great and dandy time for me too, but there are limits! I’m just tired....!
I'm a human being too, and I can easily break down if I keep getting tossed abouuuut!
I apologize. I have a bit of a bad habit of losing myself when I'm having a little too much fun. I'll reflect on my actions and do better next time.
Next time?! I-if something like this happens again surely I'll diiiiie!
Ahaha. Sounds like you two had a tough date. Our time was more quiet and relaxing.
N-no, um, it was actually a very valuable experience! I just don't know if I even deserve this kind of reward?! But, for a bug like me it was like a miracle....!
Fufufu~
--Well, by the look of Anzu-san's expression while she filmed the whole time, we probably managed to get some kind of good footage.
Oh, yeah. Anzu-han signaled to us the "OK" from a distance.
It would've been a problem if she hadn't…
I know it was the whole point of this project, but Tatsumi-san kept whispering words of adoration to me at every turn. A-and that's probably why my ears have gone numb…
My eardrums must've melted. No, my heart must've melted too, since it's been pounding so much it's basically butter.
Poor thing. HiMERU feels sorry for you. Tatsumi is always the type to drive others crazy and destroy them without realizing.
How harsh...I want nothing more than to spread love to the people around me.
Sure, that's an idol's job. However, ordinary people are not at all strong enough to endure endless amounts of love.
Uuu, you understand my struggle don't you, HiMERU-san? Since you both attended Reimei, maybe you've gone through it also...?
No. HiMERU never noticed how dangerous Tatsumi was until long after he'd met him.
Dangerous? Me?
......
Eh, huh? HiMERU-san why aren't you saying "that's not true" or something?
Oh God, am I more of a sinful creature than I'd originally thought?
Are you finally starting to realize it?
Uuu! From deep in my heart, I repent! I repent! Oh God, guide me from my foolishness!
Instead of looking for wisdom and strength from God, look for it from those around you, like how we did here.
Aah, if only you and "I"--had realized this sooner.
"Ore"...h-huh? Could it be, you–
Hmph. Tatsumi, there's something that we need to discuss privately, so please come this way.
Ayase. Oukawa. You both can stay here.
Nn? What's with you two going off to talk in secret...do you not want us to hear what you're talking about?
Yes...please don't worry, this won't take very long.
--Alright. There's no one here.
? What's going on, HiMERU-san?
[Kazehaya Tatsumi / Relationship: Special / Status: Anxious / Affinity: 100]
...Just how is it possible that the affinity is maxed out when you've been on a date with Ayase this whole time?
Ummm?
Well, that is what a "special relationship" entails. Or maybe it's special because it's different.
???
Tatsumi. It seems you were having so much fun that you've forgotten the dire situation HiMERU was in.
Ah, yes. Gaming and reality was blurred for you. I’m still unsure of how that can feel.
Fufu. Nobody can be aware of how another person feels, or how they perceive the world. That's why…
....? Hm? Why are you, um, kabedon-ing me? That is what you're doing right?
.....
Fufu. HiMERU-san, you did this same maneuver during our shoot yesterday. I wonder if you usually like this type of thing.
.......
I thought so yesterday too, but you're beautiful even up close like this.
(Ahh, how naive...you've always loved and trusted others from the depths of your heart, even "me".)
(That's why you're never distrusting or defensive. You just accept anything that's given to you by others.)
(That's why you lost everything. Your position, your pride, your leg, a happy life.)
(Yet, even when you say you've repented, nothing has changed, has it--Kazehaya Tatsumi.)
Chapter 10
Content Warning: Depictions of a character having murderous intrusive thoughts.
HiMERU-san...?
(Aah, how loathsome. I want to wipe the composure off that face of his.)
(No, it would be even easier to get rid of it entirely. It doesn't matter what the consequences are.)
(I'll strangle him, disguise myself, make my escape, and then "I" will become "myself"--a nobody--again.)
(Today would be the last day that I’d be "HiMERU".)
You look unwell. Here, please rest on my shoulder.
.....
There, there. Ufufu, HiMERU-san is human too.
I'm guessing you didn't want Kohaku-san seeing you in such a weak state. And that's why you rushed to this alleyway...but I'm glad you allowed me to see this side of you.
I've always just wanted to be your friend.
Not a saint and his follower, not rivals at work...but the kind of relationship where we go out together during vacations, talk about simpler things, and laugh at each other.
(Just like always--)
(--You don't understand anyone or their feelings, and all you spout is nonsense. You've always been like this--)
--Kazehaya Tatsumi.
Yes? What is it, HiMERU-san?
Kazehaya Tatsumi, Kazehaya Tatsumi KazehayaTatsumiKazehayaTatsumi–
Yes. You don't need to keep calling for me, I'm right here.
…Marry "me".
Eh? I don't want to.
........
.......
.....HiMERU-san?
--Why did you refuse?!
Uggghghg?! Please don't choke me! I'll die!
Ah, was it because of my affinity? Because of the game you're playing?
I'm so sorry, I gave a straightforward answer!
Do you hate HiMERU that much?!
A-absolutely not! I think of you as a very important friend!
But, because of the religious beliefs I grew up with as well as the laws of the country, I feel like I have to say no when a man asks me to marry him...?!
Maybe so! But you needed to say yes!
Oukawa's affinity wouldn't rise above a specific level for some reason, so Tatsumi you were the only option!
Your affinity is at 100--in other words, it's at its "MAX"!
In "Ai-stars", when you raise someone's affinity to 100 you can ask to marry them, and if both parties are in agreement then you get married.
Then the game would be over! And by extension this ridiculous situation will be over too!
R-right! Is that so? I'll do it then, I'll marry you!
There! Even if you didn't know anything, you should've assumed and did this from the beginning! Ahh, the game is cleared! It's finally over!
C-congratulations?
Thank you! Actually, Tatsumi, it was good you were around!
Come again?
...We can never know what's in someone else's heart. For games this might be true, but this is reality.
Therefore, whatever affinity that was shown to HiMERU was only because of HiMERU's perceptions. It was only a number based on HiMERU's five senses and subconsciousness.
(Oukawa's affinity didn't exceed a certain point only because HiMERU judged it to be so subconsciously.)
(Oukawa is still innocent, and he loves easily. However, what Oukawa sees and loves is "HiMERU"--a false mask "I've" created. I don't know how much he would love the real "me".)
(And there's no way to know that, because "I" never allow anyone to see the real "me".)
(The real "me" has no idea how much Oukawa loves him, and so my subconscious acknowledged that and refused to raise his affinity above a certain point.)
(It doesn't matter how well we may get along on a surface level, if "I" never reveal the true "me" to him, then we will never attain a higher level of friendship.)
(Fufu. Oukawa considered an online friend, someone he'd never seen before, as his best friend--)
(He could love "me" even if I were a scrap of paper.)
(Alas, that's just a theory that my consciousness--my instincts--doesn't seem to agree with. The guilt of deceiving Oukawa was reflected in his affinity.)
(But. If it were Tatsumi. If it were that saint bastard...)
(Surely, he would love "me" no matter who I was. He would indiscriminately love "me", "HiMERU", and anyone else.)
(That's just the kind of person you are, Kazehaya Tatsumi. A winged saint. An absurd saint bastard who would never hold a grudge against anyone, no matter how much they've trampled on him.)
(For anyone, his affinity would stay high and strong.)
(Ahh, I can't stand him for being so unpleasant!)
....HiMERU-san? I-I'll ask you again, are you feeling alright? If it's an extreme condition, should I call an ambulance?
--No. Everything...is fine. Thank you for the assistance, Tatsumi. Because of it, any visions of affinity have all disappeared. HiMERU was likely freed from the game's influence.
Is that so! What a relief! Congratulations! So clearing the game really was the cure for your symptoms after all?
Probably...It could also be that the symptoms wore off with time naturally.
Even when wearing glasses that flip your vision upside down, your brain will correct your vision with time to the way it previously was.
That's just how the human brain works. Over time it will adapt and perceive the world normally again.
A constant state of confusion and illusion simply doesn't exist.
That's right. If you're ever seeing things that aren't actually there, then that would just mean there's an issue with part of your brain functions.
However, you will always be perfect, good, and righteous.
Hmph. What's "normal" and what's "right" or not is all dependent on personal beliefs.
If you keep treating others reverently like that you'll only face failure again, Tatsumi.
I'll keep that in mind.
Fufu. HiMERU is also adapting, albeit slowly, to this strange world. A rather dull world, where there's nothing to love.
Yes. I'll assist you as much as possible, anytime. As your reliable "husband".
No. The game is over, so it's fine to go back to the same relationship we had before. That is to say, as "strangers".
Fufu. I was hoping to be at least "friends"...~
Chapter 11
Later. At Crazy:B’s hangout spot in Cafe Cinnamon.
–Ahh, a peaceful life is such a wonderful thing.
Y-yeah…it is.
Oya, Oukawa, why are you sitting so far from HiMERU? Could it be that your affinity still isn’t high enough?
Just what do you mean when you say affinity? Human feelings can’t be easily put into numbers y'know.
Agreed. When it comes to love games, that’s what makes them absurd. Yet, “Ai-stars" sales seem to be a success thanks to us.
Seems so... Umm…thanks to all the backbone you put in, HiMERU-han.
Yes. That day, in the alleyway HiMERU proposed all for the sake of "Ai-stars"s recording.
Yeah…we got worried when you two didn’t come back right away, so we went to check up on you and saw but…
You both were there, standing scandalously close to each other and whispering lovey words–
It was not scandalous, and we were not whispering love to each other.
S-sure it wasn’t. Me and Mayoi-han got a little unsettled, even now we get a little on edge when we see you, HiMERU-han.
Oya, could you be jealous, Oukawa?
Please don’t worry. Of everyone in ES, HiMERU’s affinity for you is the highest.
What even is all this affinity talk anyways? It’s ridiculous…and besides, HiMERU-han, it’s your fault for being so confusing.
If Anzu-san isn’t around filming anymore then keeping up the act of a "character from a dating sim” is pointless isn’t it.
You’re giving me the impression that you’re serious about this…
Impossible. It’s awful even to think about.
(Though, it’s true we came up with a poor excuse.)
(Oukawa came to check on us because he’d gotten worried, and subsequently saw HiMERU and Tatsumi standing close to each other. We had to rush to explain ourselves.)
(Thankfully, Anzu-san had come to find us sooner and was able to record–)
(Yes, she had recording equipment with her, and as a result she was able to submit a video that the client was happy with.)
(They said “Yes, yes! This is exactly what we wanted! Two men, usually calm and composed, exposing their true instincts–” and were satisfied. Whatever that means.)
(Arguably, it’d be better to fire a crazy person like them as quickly as possible.)
(Well, the fact that the job was done perfectly and excellently as HiMERU always does should be a relief.)
(It was a chaotic, but certainly rewarding, experience. God is in heaven, and all's right with the world(15). This can be called a happy ending.)
HiMERU-saaaaan~
Oh, your “husband” is here to pick you up.
HiMERU: That kind of joke is unforgivable, Oukawa.
Scary…
Did you need anything from us, Tatsumi-han? I heard you guys are still booked. Are you sure it’s okay to be spending time here?
Fufu. It’s not okay actually, but…
Oh, Mayoi-han you’re here too. Hi there~
Ah, yes! Hello, Koha-kyun…~
Koha-kyun?
I-I’m sorry! I misspoke!
Did you really? Well, nevermind that. HiMERU was simply offering Oukawa a meal as thanks for helping before.
You both were also useful with help and are welcome to join us if you’d like. Shiina went a little overboard in making the food so we can’t possibly eat it ourselves.
Ah, that’s nice of you, but it was also something we had to do for our sake, so please don’t feel indebted to us.
Yes. We have the same position of work. We’re equals, so there’s no debt involved. And so, please allow HiMERU to show his gratitude with this meal.
No point in arguing Mayoi-han, let HiMERU-han buy you something.
I-if you insist...in actuality, we’ve been so busy lately that all we’ve had to eat are bento boxes and things like that, so I’d be happy to finally eat a proper meal.
Good. Come sit here~
Fufu. I feel like I’ve been able to gain a better understanding of everyone in “Crazy:B”. It took a lot of hard work, but I believe it was also a good experience.
Yes, HiMERU thought the same. HiMERU will keep gaining more experience in order to better himself as an idol.
Wonderful. I actually have some good news for Crazy:B–specifically, for HiMERU-san.
For HiMERU? What is it?
It would appear that our first Valentine’s Day event “Ai-stars” was received well by the public. So much that the producer was excited enough to begin working on a sequel event, without anyone asking them to do so.
“Sequel”…?
Yes. To align with June Bride, the sequel will be titled “Tatsumi and HiMERU’s Lovey Lovey*Newlywed Life”.
…….
We’ve been offered roles, what will you do?
–Obviously, politely refuse~
Translation Notes
(15): A colloquial expression derived from literature meaning “everything back to normal in its place”. I recognized this quote from “Pippa Passes”, a work of poetry published in the 1900s.